Mirrors are difficult. Any mirrored surface is difficult. It’s difficult to look at myself - to see beyond the bumps, bends, and folds that shape my body. The mirror doesn’t see what I see. When I close my eyes I see myself perfectly. There are soft pliable places both sexy and sensual. I am all amazing breasts and perfect hand holds. My breasts are perfect hand holds. Every part of me wants to be touched - to be held. My waist is narrow. My belly is flat. I am curled up, small, vulnerable, leaping, wild and fierce.
Seascapes are the most intimate paintings I make. Or rather, seascapes leave me feeling more vulnerable and exposed than anything else I’ve experienced since becoming an artist. When I start painting a seascape, I don’t know what I’m going to paint. The entire process feels like a trust fall exercise. I’m choosing to fall and trusting I’ll catch myself all at the same time.
There's not a ‘right way’ to make a portrait. Some artists will focus on different facial features or capturing beautiful light. For others it is about how the clothing or environment tells a story. Some artists abstractly convey personality through gestural marks and intentional use of color. For others still, portraiture is about creating an exact and realistic rendering.
Today is July 26th. Today, if my brother Micheal were still alive, he would be thirty-three years old. I am thirty. When I meet a man who is three years older, the first thing I think about is how he is the same age as my brother. The thirty-three year old man seems familiar - as if he and my brother are part of the same club. Maybe he knew Michael or has a friend who knew him. Maybe they both played Mario on Nintendo or listened to Sublime. A part of me thinks I will always see a bit of my brother in these men who are young enough to be my best friend and still old enough to be bigger than me.
The last 3 months have been exhilerating (more blog posts to come!) One of the things I've been up to is working with the FSU Center for Autism and Related Disabilities and the FSU Museum of Fine Art. They have invited me to be a part of a small exhibit of artists who are all on the autism spectrum. I will be showing work from my time in Memphis - including 3 new poems! I finished writing my artist statement this morning and thought I'd share. :-)
It’s fitting that my first blog post on my new website would coincide with moving into a new studio in a new city. Two months ago I left my little house in my quiet beach town and moved to Memphis, TN all in the name of love. Supposedly love makes people do things like this all the time.